Kitty Meow Meow Gets Lice

Okay gang,
Here is that amazing, wonderful, scintillating 100th post that I promised. Enjoy this story about a cat, a dog and a bad case of lice.

One sunny afternoon while the bees were pollinating many-a-rose bud, Kitty Meow Meow was enjoying a wonderful cat nap in the spring sun. Suddenly this cat nip-induced dream was interrupted by a large pinch on her leg. She woke up with a start exclaiming, “Meow! Meow meooow. Moooowewe wowie meowchie,” Which, when translated from Kitty-anese, means, “Holy cow! I feel like I want to scratch my skin off! Ouchie Meowchie!” After approximately 14 minutes of an epic claws vs. skin battle to the death, Kitty Meow Meow decided to enlist the help of Master Doggy Woof Woof to rid her of her debilitating condition.

Meanwhile, in the trenches of Kitty Meow Meow’s fat rolls (Kitty is a very obese cat but she will deny these accusations. She claims her fur makes her look poofy.) Louse Chomp Chomp was enjoying his third afternoon snack of Type O- Kitty Bloody Mary. “Mmm,” he thought, “I could drink this feline all day! Oh wait! I already have been!” Louse Chomp Chomp then let out the loudest, most evil laugh that his little louse lungs could manage. “Muahahahaha,” he shrieked and took another big gulp of Kitty Meow Meow’s sweet-tasting blood.

While waddling over to Doggy Woof Woof’s doghouse, Kitty Meow Meow stopped short. She could’ve sworn she had heard a soft squeak coming from her left knee roll. She shrugged it off and determined it was a delusion brought about by her intense need to scratch. When Kitty Meow Meow finally reached Doggy Woof Woof’s doghouse she was seriously out of breath and found him meditating in the downward dog position. Kitty Meow Meow, usually a considerate cat, couldn’t bear to wait for Doggy Woof Woof to finish his meditation session. The crazy need to scratch sent her into a kitty tizzy fit as she pounced on his arched back and started rambling in very unintelligible spits and squawks. Once again, when translated it can be best estimated that she said something like, “Master…itchy…woof woof… itchy leg!…help stop itchy…fat roll…need twinkie… MEOWCHIE!”

Doggy Woof Woof, of course, understood each poor hiss coming from Kitty. He remained calm as he used his Chinese chow chow powers to see what was causing Kitty Meow Meow so much grief. He knew right away that Kitty Meow Meow had a little louse lounging on her large, lardy leg. (Alliteration is fun!)

Little did Doggy Woof Woof know that at that exact moment Louse Chomp Chomp was drooling at the excitement of feeding off a fit dog in hopes of lowering his cholesterol (I told you, Kitty is a chunky one). Louse waited until the right moment when the cat and dog were close enough to each other to leap with all his might onto the back of Doggy Woof Woof.

Ready. Set. Super louse jumping power!

Weeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

The jump was a success!

And that’s how Doggy Woof Woof got a bad case of fur lice and needed to be shaved of all his Chinese Chow Chow fluffiness. Shame.

You Know What's Sad?

...Not being able to count...or read numbers.

In my last post I made a big hullabaloo about it being my 100th post. I even made LEGITIMATE Funfetti cupcakes complete with LEGITIMATE pink Funfetti frosting in celebration of the big day. Can you get any more legit than that? At this point I was legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit.

I was as happy as a tornado in a trailer park that I had reached such a momentous moment in my blogging life.

But then I looked again to see that wonderful {#100} next to my list of posts and found something that kicked me off my Funfetti pedestal faster than Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick your face.

The #100 was gone!

[Gasp!]

Someone stole my perfect #100!

[Gasp!]

And in its place, sticking out like a bulging white-head on the forehead of life was...

A freakin' #98!!! Ninety [bleepin] EIGHT posts? How can I have only written 98 flippin' posts?

At this point I am not legit. I am un-legit. And for that reason I must quit. (If you're lost at this point, you really need to makes friends with MC Hammer and the movie Hot Rod).

And am pretty much feeling like a dumbo idiot for not being able to distinguish a 98 from a 100.
I feel like so much time has been wasted. Time that I could have spent doing something less celebratory...like making Funfetti cupcakes WITHOUT Funfetti frosting. I could've saved $3.00 by making my own icing. And I can guarantee it would have been fun, too. Butter + shortening + vanilla + powdered sugar + more butter = cholesterolly fun goodness!

Even more upsetting than knowing that I obviously need to change my glasses prescription is knowing that I let you all down. I'm sure you each had your own Priscilla-inspired fiesta the night of my erroneous blog post. Did you make Funfetti cupcakes, too? Sorry about that. But at least you got to enjoy a tasty treat, right? Right.

So here's a toast to my 99th post of blogging awesomeness:

May you all have a prosperous week full of happiness and EXTREME anticipation for the real, honest-to-goodness legitimate 100th post of the century.

Trust me. This is gonna be big.

Happy 100th Post!

This is my 100th post on this blog! Ohmigosh! In celebration of this momentous event, I plan to make Funfetti cupcakes this evening. Nothing says celebration like rainbow-colored sprinkles in my cupcakes! Huzzah! But seriously, let's talk about Funfetti for a minute...

Just look at that deliciousness! I know Funfetti screams "7-year-old birthday party" but I don't care. I don't need fancy creme brulee to keep me happy, all I need is a tasty cupcake that looks like sprinkles are baked into the batter...like magic!

Moving on from my Ode to Funfetti, I'd like to make this 100th post a happy helping of things that have been on my mind lately. (I originally thought of listing 100 things I love, or 100 favorite foods, but let's be realistic. I don't have that kind of time. I've got Funfetti cupcakes to make tonight!

To begin, I have a serious crush on David Tennant (The 10th doctor on the BBC series Doctor Who). Bob introduced me to Doctor Who shortly after we got married. I gotta be honest here, I was hesitant to accept this crazy television show. The first doctor, Christopher Eccleston, just didn't catch my fancy. But as soon as Mr. Tennant became The Doctor, I became VERY interested in this show. I mean, just look at this:

 [Wolf Howl] Soooooo good looking! Talk about delicious! Mmm!

Is it crazy that I actually get giddy when I watch him? I haven't had a TV crush since J.T.T (ya know, Jonathan Taylor Thomas? I definitely crushed on him when I was a tween)! This is big stuff, folks. He and his Doctor Who costar, Catherine Tate will be performing together in Much Ado About Nothing May-August of this year and I would LOVE to go. I'm pretty sure I'd be like a pre-teen at a Justin Bieber concert if I went to this play. Do you think I could convince Bob to take me? I'm not so sure about that one. Not only are we on the lower-income side of things with both of us being in school, but this show is at the Wyndham's Theater in London. Did you catch that? London. Yeah...I definitely don't think we can afford a trip overseas.

...but a girl can dream, can't she?

Puh-puh-puh-puhlease take me to see him, Bob!

Okay, okay, enough of me gushing about my celebrity crush (though there's no guaranteeing that I won't mention it in the future). Let's move on to another topic:

BABIES!!!

They are everywhere! My life has been overcome by a baby explosion! And no, I am not pregnant and won't be for a while, but it sure seems like everyone around me is. Don't get me wrong, I'm very exciting for all my family and friends that are welcoming new little ones into their lives, but it's bugging me a little. Why? 'Cause I want one. I know it's not an ideal time for Bob and I to bring an [adorable] child into this world, but that doesn't change the fact that I've got babies on my mind. I'm getting tired of school really fast (hey, I've been going to classes almost every semester since Fall 2005!). I'm ready to have a house (or at least a slightly bigger place). I'm ready for a career. I'm ready to move to the next phase in my life (AKA no more school). I'm pretty sure Bob and I will have pretty babies. If they look anything like my cute niece, then we're golden:

Can you believe that this picture hasn't been retouched? I swear it looks like she should be advertising for Baby Gap or something! But alas, no babies for us until we are done with school. I can't even imagine how I would take care of the little one while being in school. I'll just have to be patient.

Next topic! I've been thinking a lot lately how I wish I were different that I am.
I wish I were more crafty. Then I could whip up some fantastic home decor and have a wonderfully fun and fresh living room! I could take some of my old clothes that I never wear and re purpose them into something new and fun. I frequent the Make It and Love It website and covet all the fun projects she puts up...[sigh] if only I had the time and talent to be a super cool crafter.

I wish I had a better singing voice so I could audition for some local plays. I really miss acting. I haven't been in a play since the Spring of 2005. Sadness. I always had so much fun performing in shows with my friends, but now it seems like you need to sing in your audition. I'm just not that secure with my singing voice to go out and introduce the world to my not-so-awesome voice. Sadness.

Speaking of things that I miss, I really miss dancing, too. Dancing was my life growing up. I remember dancing almost every day when I was on Cottonwood High's Dance Company. Sure, it was tough, but it was so much fun! I wish I could find some company to join, just for fun. (Plus, I could definitely benefit from the exercise)!
Well, I think this post is long enough for you all to stumble through. I cannot believe this is my 100th post. Have I really had that much to say? I suppose so. Until next time, you stay classy, Internet.

-P-Dizzle

Oh, Hello 2011!

Hi friends. Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I feel like I have a lot less to blog about while in grad school. Things are pretty much the same from week-to-week. Study, sleep, eat, class, work... Sure, the occasional interesting thing happens, but the time just isn't there to share how my 7-year-old client told me I was going to 'Juvie' during one of our sessions.

So here's a summary of this last semester:
- Started school- Took a lot of tests
- Got Maggie spayed
- Continued to gain weight (lack of physical activity will do that to you!)
- Welcomed a new nephew into the family
- Finished crocheting a hat (big achievement, lemme tell ya!)
- Got hives a week before finals from stress
- Finished the semester with decent grades- Managed to stay healthy through the whole semester (knock on wood)

I'm quite relieved to be done with my first round of classes. I had a teacher that was...ahem...horrible. I felt as if I never knew what she wanted from me. I was constantly frustrated with her teaching style and always wanting to punch her in the face. Luckily, I kept my anger in check and passed both her classes. Success!

The break has been nice. Most nights I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so used to coming home and falling into the books/passing out on the couch that all this free time is hard to fill. I'm still a fan of falling asleep on the couch, so that's managed to stay on my after work 'to do' list. Hey, if you had our amazingly comfy couches and a dog to lay on your feet you'd fall asleep early every night, too!

A major highlight of the break was the annual friend Christmas party. Around 20 of us get together once a year and have a yummy dinner, a present exchange and play some awesome games. I love these people. They were the same gang that I went to La Jolla, California with when Bob and I met. I love how each year the group gets bigger with marriages and babies. This year we had 1 little guy there, and next year we will have at least 5 kids at the party. Wowza! I love these folks!

A small grouping of friends at the party.

Christmas was a little crazy, but awesome nonetheless. Bob got me some awesome gifts, and my parents hooked us up with some much needed things. We spent New Years Eve at Bob's sister's house with family and friends. We played games and snacked on yummies. Good times. We headed up to Bob's Momma's house on New Years Day and had an epic sledding adventure in Mantua. More good times with the Bob.

Speaking of the new year, I can't believe it is 2011. It sounds too...hmm...futuristic? Maybe it's those extra syllables twen-ty-e-le-ven. Yup. Those 5 syllables are most definitely more futuristic that the 3 in twen-ty-ten.

Syllables aside, it feels good to enter a new year. I love 'staring fresh'. Now that I have graduate school figured out, I am ready to take on a new semester. I am excited to work with my clients, and see the progress that they will make these next few months.

I'm not one to make New Years resolutions. I never keep them. They seem so overwhelming! Instead of making mammoth resolutions, I prefer to make 'tentative goals' for this year. Here's my list:

1. Get Healthier.
This can include just about anything. Eating better things for me, exercising more, taking the stairs, eating less at meals.

2. Be Nicer.
Less gossip, more patience, more service, less road rage.

3. Work Harder.
At everything! School, work, clinic, exercising, being an all-around better person.

4. Stop Chewing My Cheek
My nervous/bored habit? I bite the inside of my cheek. Especially during tests. I should probably work on stopping this. More gum, perhaps?

Yeah, that's all I have for now. I like keeping goals few and broad. Except for #4. That's pretty specific. And for good reason.

So there you have it. A nice summary of the past few months of my life wrapped into one handy-dandy blog post. Ta-da!!!

Wingardium Leviosa!

I saw this at 1:00pm today:

Oh my gosh, I was so giddy to see the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I remember reading this last book in my apartment in the avenues back in...what was it? 2006? I read all day and night after it came out until I finished at 5am. I gotta tell you, I cried way too much during the book. When I finally flipped the last page I may or may not have even cried myself to sleep. Here's where you don't judge me too harshly. It was the end of a long journey with me and my many friends in the wizarding world.

Harry Potter and his gang have been a big part of my life. The first book came out when I was the same age as Harry, Ron and Hermione. I even remember pronouncing Hermione's name 'Her-me-own' (hey, I didn't know how it was supposed to be pronounced so I tried my best!) My friend, Kristy Richards, introduced me to the first book before it became ridiculously popular. We would talk about it - just the two of us - not knowing that it would become the big success it is now. Each time a new book came out I couldn't wait for the next adventure.

I truly am a ginormous nerd. I've been all sad today after seeing the show because I'm not a witch. My life seems so boring compared to Harry's. Sure, he almost dies in every book, but I could go for some adventure right now! I think I just may have to read the entire series again. What will this be? The third time around? Bring it on!

And for those of you thinking that there are so many other books of academic excellence out there that can enlighten my mind much better than H.P. - shut it! I love Harry Potter and I'm not afraid to admit it! I don't think I will ever get tired of reading those books. Ever. I can't wait until I have kids and they get old enough for me to read the books to them. If she wrote a book about Harry & friends as adults I would read them in a second [wink, wink, J.K].

Well, back to my dull life of school and work.

This sucks.

The Final Countdown

No, this will not be another blog in which I rewrite all the words to different songs. Sorry to have put you through that last time. No, no, this blog will be a happy ranting about the end of the semester. (Happy ranting? Indeed.)

There are 4 more weeks left in this semester.

Ohmigash.

[Enter panic mode...Now]

I cannot believe that this semester is coming to an end. Even more, I can't believe I have so much to do before Christmas break. My list contains 5 exams, 2 projects, 1 presentation, 1 paper and 1 Saturday class.

Phew!

Thank goodness Thanksgiving and my birthday fall somewhere in that mess!

Aside from the crazy 4 weeks that lie ahead of me, I am so excited to finish this semester. I can't wait to get more clients next semester. I have loved working with my little client these past couple of months. Ahh... 2011. It's sure to be a good year.

In other news, Maggie is still growing. As much of a pain as she was when she was little, I really miss the little fur ball that wobbled all over our apartment. She's pretty awesome now, but definitely not as...uh...poofy as she once was. I like poofy puppies.

And with that, I leave you with this hilarious video of little Maggie playing with Ginny (who has since gone to a better home in Idaho).

Ohhhh!! The fuzzy cuteness of it all!

Sing, Sing A Song!

Well, folks, after 8 weeks of breakouts all over my chin from constant stress, I finally feel like I'm getting a hang on graduate school. I have survived 3 tests and made it through a lot of time-consuming projects. I have transitioned from being a passive observer in clinic to taking data, writing reports and even planning a few activities. I have noticed my stress level decline as I have found a great balance between school and life. I'm feeling happy and healthy. I feel good. I knew that I would. So good, so good, I ain't feeling blue!

buh, Buh, BUh, BUH YEAH!!

Here is my breakthrough formula for graduate school success:

7-8 Hours of Super Slumber-ful Sleep
It does wonders for those bags under my eyes and caffeine cravings! I welcome Mr. Sandman to bring me a dream, to make him the cutest that I've ever seen. Please build up my self esteem with your magic beam, Mr. Supreme. Seriously, Mr. Sandman, bring me a kick-butt dream that doesn't make me scream. Or make me wake up sweaty. Does this happen to anyone else? Anyone? Anyone? Nope? Just me? ...Awkward...

More Fun Times Full of Joy and Joyness With the Bobby Boy
Specifically? Having impromptu pouncing and wrestling matches, taking Maggie on walks and watching her spash all the other dogs at Tanner Park (she hasn't quite got the doggy paddle down and does more of a 'panic paddle'), and watching Doctor Who when we both know we should be studying. I just love my hubs. Is it in his chest? Oh no, no, no, it is not. In the way he's dressed? Oh no, that's just his ascot*. If you [shoop] wanna [shoop] know [shoop] why [shoop] he [shoop] loves [shoop] me [shoop] so it's in his kiss. That's where it is! Oh yeah!

Daily Jamming To Female Power Ballads
I have found great stress release by rocking out at work, inbetween classes, and while driving home to some good tunes. Any upbeat song will do, but I can't get enough of female power ballads. If you know me well, you know that I will listen to the same song over and over and over again. So you better believe that I've been listening to the same few songs continuously for the past few weeks. I can't quite seem to get these lyrics out of my head:

Til now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
But now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?

Sheesh, Heart. All you have to say is, "would you like to be alone with me?" What a silly question.

We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be invincible

Clearly this song is all about surviving grad school. Cleary.

There are a few more tunes running around in that noggin of mine, but I think this post has put plenty of songs in your head. I'm going to head to bed, get up tomorrow and take Maggie to get spayed. I feel bad for the furry little lady. She's never gonna be a puppy momma. Thank goodness songs can fix those sad times! Here's my Maggie song:

(Bob would like to mention that he helped write this song. We are talented folk, we are).

Maggie Dooooooog
She's not a vegetarian
(Maggie Dog, Maggie Dog, Maggie Dog)
Maggie Dooooooog
Sometimes she eats carrion
(Maggie, NO! Maggie, NO! Maggie NO!)
She loves us home
She hates to be alone
She likes red meat
And she sure likes the bone!


*Bob does not wear ascots....yet.