Hal's Tips For Life

I'm a bus rider. I ride the bus. Everyday I happily skip (yes, I really do skip) to the bus stop at the end of my street and hop on public transportation. I love it! I am a proud tree-hugger (minus the potchuli and hairy legs), and I try to do my part to help the environment. I also have a solid half-hour to read a book, play Sudoku, or listen to some feel-good tunes. Oh, and did I mention how it's free? Yeah...I'm saving $70 a month. Cha-ching! Yay UTA!

Anywho, I met a fine fellow on the bus today. His name is Hal. My bus pal, Hal. Now, usually I am one of those quiet bus riders with her nose stuck in a gigantic novel while bobbing back and forth to her 80s rock music. On occasion I unconsciously start singing to my tunes, but I have tried to watch myself more after Mr. Roboto made me backhand a defenseless bag lady.

Poor bag lady.

Today was a special day, for it was the first time in my bus-riding life that I pulled my snout out of my Sudoku to have an actual conversation with another human being. Hal was a very talkative 60-something, and talked to me from the moment we entered the bus to the second I departed. His wide smile displayed crooked and stained lower teeth and his salt-and-pepper hair was hidden under a red cap that advertised some service group from 1976.

Hal and I had a nice conversation that ranged from running to organic produce. From organic produce, Hal got off on a tangent. And from that tangent he entered another tangent. Seriously, folks, tangents were spawning tangents just like Rabbits! Before long I was taking mental notes on all the advice Hal was giving me. It was so shocking what Hal ended up telling me I just had to share it with you all. So here are Hal's little life tips:

1) Before peeling an onion, place it in the freezer or very cold fridge for about 30mins. This helps reduce the amount of vapor that escapes the onion and makes your eyes less teary. You can also cut it while running it under cold water to get rid of those crying eyes. After you cut the onion, grab a tablespoon of salt and wash your hands with it to get rid of that strong smell that seems to be on your fingers forever!

2) Chewing sugar-free gum after eating increases saliva production and keeps your teeth and gums healthy. Gum can also help keep your jaw muscles strong and may also help with digestion.

3) If you suffer from headaches from looking at something for too long (a computer screen usually does it for me!), grab a lemon or lime and wipe it across your forehead for quick relief before pain meds take effect.

So do these little tricks actually work? I have no idea. But you better believe that I am going to try them all! Heck, when a guy on the bus named Hal starts sharing all his wisdom with you, you take it! It's all about baby steps. Overcome onion vapors...check. Relieve headache...check. Strengthen teeth...check. Use onions, mouth, and concentration to take over the world...

Check...

Check...

Check.