Breaking Dawn Against My Will

Stephanie Meyer's fourth installment of the Twilight series comes out on Saturday. Finally, the world will know if Bella chooses life with Jacob, or death with Edward (or some other road we have not considered)!

Sadly, Meyer's writing style and prose are, let's face it, pretty horrendous. I have spent countless hours reading about how close Bella and Edward get to having a passionate make-out (or worse...wink, wink), and nothing ever happens! Do I even need to tell you how frustrating this series is? I swear the only reason I keep reading is because I think that soon something of juicy value will come of it.

But nothing ever happens.

So I read on with the bad descriptions, poor visualizations, and ugly past-tense prose in hopes that Edward will accidentally turn her into a vampire, or Jacob will win her heart. My hope lies with the latter.

Finally, what is so freaking special about Bella? Are you honestly going to tell me that this accident-prone girl is getting the hunk-sickle just because she smells good? I understand the whole 'pheromones and sexual desire' bit, but shouldn't Bella have another attractive feature? What is this telling the young girls that are the target audience for this book?

Brains, looks, personality, or pretty much anything else for that matter will not help you get a guy. You can be a complete hazard and end up with a model-look-alike as long as you waft a constant aroma of Love Spell.

Puh-lease! Seriously girls, stay in school and quit spending your money at Bath & Body Works.
Take my advice, Edward. It's time to drink the wine. You've smelled the bouquet enough!

So aside from my ranting and raving, I will still be at my front door mid-morning on Saturday waiting for my pre-ordered copy of Breaking Dawn to arrive.

Do I think the whole story is rather stupid?

Yes.

Do I believe that there are other literary works that are better worth my time?

Yes.

Have I been completely sucked (pun intended) into Meyer's world of vampires, high school, and imminent danger around every corner that may or may not turn our dear and close friend, Bella, into a living-dead, and potentially out-of-control newborn vampire so she can live for all eternity with the one man who she cannot bare to be separated from, and I must get this book as soon as possible to find out how this story ends (run-on sentence intended)?

Danggit! Yes! Yes I tell you!

I need to go read Grapes of Wrath now...