Monday, March 30, 2009

The Air Taco [dun, dun, duuuuunnnnn!]

It all began with a sunny weekend...

[Begin dream-like, reminiscing sequence complete with puffy clouds & strumming harp...]

The smell of Spring was in the air as Mother Nature finally decided to give some desperate Utahans a moment of sun-filled ecstasy. The Bob and Cilla thought that a trip to St. George would be a wonderful ending to an already splendid week, so they packed up Cilla's little Acura with all things awesome and headed down south.

But before they could go they needed to get some important items. Namely tasty beverages and books. A quick stop at the Millcreek library and then a gas station should do the trick! Wait, they didn't have the book Bob wanted at Millcreek. Off to Whitmore! "Hmm...this book looks good...I've always wanted to read that!...Dude, Bob, you should totally get this!..."

So after 2 hours and multiple stops, Bob and Cilla finally leave the Salt Lake valley with some Gatorade and 5 books in tow. And no, they didn't read all of them. They didn't even read half of them. Only 2 were opened and neither were finished. But at least they had options!



Anywhosie, so Cilla-Bob finally arrive in St. George and play in the pool with their friends Mike, Andrea, Chad, Lonnie, Heidi, Chris, and Emily, eat some amazing In 'N Out Burger, and get ready for sleep...

...on their awesome inflatable mattress!!! (Seriously folks, these things are tubular. No more sleeping on the floor for me! All I need is the pump, some blankets, and we're good to go). "What's that, Bob? We forgot the pump? No worries, we'll just blow it up manually."

*** 1 1/2 hours later ***

Horay! We finally finished! Are you lightheaded? I'm feeling a little woosie myself... Let's go to sleep so my head feels better. "Night, Bob-a-rino!" "Night, Cilla-putty!"

Fast forward 8 hours. Cilla wakes up to a kink in her think as she finds herself in the middle of a ginormous taco! What the hockey? I swear we went to bed on an air mattress! Sorry, Cill, you thought wrong!


You see, about 11 3/4 years ago a man named El Gordo created a space machine to transport him to a little planet called Horchata where all the little creatures spoke Spanish and ate Mexican food. Upon leaving the festive planet, a little pig-o sneaked into El Gordo's sombrero and hitched a ride all the way back to el planet Eartho..I mean planet Earth. Shortly after arriving, El Gordo caught the pink pig-o eating down at the local Taco Bell one Saturday afternoon, and forced the pig-o into solitary confinement so it wouldn't eat the world out of burritos and beans.

Despite El Gordo's best efforts, the pig-o managed to escape every night by using it's laser stare to burn a hole in old Wii Box he was being held in. The pig-o would then rush to the closest mexican fast food restaurant and devour every morsel of food in the establishment. El Gordo needed to take action.

So he devised a plan. A wicked plan. A wickedly awesome plan. A wickedly awesome devious plan. A wickedly awesome devious plan to change the world of road trips as we know it! He invented the air taco! [dun, dun, duuunnnnn!]. The air taco [dun, dun, duuuunnnn!] was an evil contraption that, to the naked eye, looked like a normal air mattress. But upon sleeping on it, it would strategically deflate creating a human taco and send out a signal to El Gordo and the pig-o. The pig-o would then teleport to the air taco [dun, dun, duuuunnnnn!], pour some chalula hot sauce on them, and gobble those humans up!

Before Cilla and Bob knew how to defend themselves, they were suddenly being attacked by the pig-o and his mutant asexually created spawn! Bob punched! POW! Cilla kicked! SMACK! They screamed! AAYYYAYAYYYAAAAA!!! And the pig-o and his demented friends retreated in pain and scaredom.

SUCCESS! The dynamic duo of CillaBob prevails again! All was good in the world again, and Priscilla and Bob headed out for their second day of fun in the sun. They have learned their lesson and will carefully sleep on only those air mattresses not tainted by El Gordo's evil taco-making contraption.

Take heed fellow readers, for if you do not take caution you too may end up face-to-face with the pig-o in the dreaded Air Taco [dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!]

3 comments:

Caitie Miller said...

Haha that's too funny! I can't believe you didn't wake up when the air taco smooshed you two together!

Wolf said...

That is killer. Here I am at work and you've got me laughing so hard I'm crying! I love it!

Thanks Cilla!

Lisa Louise said...

oh man that is too funny! You are hilarious girl!